Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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