I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
