I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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