I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
