oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
