NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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