careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
