Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
