TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Help. Why am I so naked?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
