I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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