Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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