i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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