is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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