do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
