you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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