oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
farters have to be the big spoon...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
