I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
