New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
