I love black thongs
If that was your dad, he is hot
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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