You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
