its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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