Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
