mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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