no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
vagina is talking i cant
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
