And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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