it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
do nipples grow back?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
