I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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