There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
