i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
