Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
