What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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