I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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