Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
