is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
