If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
