I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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