What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Slut skills are useful in every country.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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