Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
