4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
