Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
