Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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