So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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