I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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