as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
