The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
