i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
