Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
