im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
