I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
