Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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