OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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